A Letter of Gratitude - Mommy realizes who is important in her life, and yours too!

A letter of gratitude

   I believe I know my child. I know when she is tired, when she needs a bottle, or a cool pacifier, when she is uncomfortable, when she is teething and needs Tylenol, when she is pooping, when she is ready to go out for the day, when she is cold or hot. I am her mother and I DO NOT apologize for the way I am with her. I love being able to know what she needs, I love being home and being a stay-at-home mommy  with her, I love being out and about and having new adventures with her daily. If this is not the way you want to raise your kid, then DON’T. However, do not criticize, analyze, or say one negative comment towards me and the way I am with my family. Your actions caused a discord in a friendship that altered our families.

     For some bizarre reason, I care what people think of me. And I especially care what my family and friends think. You were, supposed to be more than “just people.” You were supposed to be “family.”  The other “Mom” my daughter would grow up thinking you were like an Aunt.”  Instead of being there for us, instead of helping in an already complicated situation, you chose to question the way I was doing things.. Instead of supporting us in whatever we decided, you misspoke. (And I say  misspoke because you were, so clearly wrong, about what was the best thing for MY child. )

    And lastly, thank you for showing me the kind of person you came to be. Thank you for showing me far early in life so that my daughter may not be affected by your allegations, accusations, and words of distrust. Thank you for making me question my standards, my care, myself, my moments. Thank you for making every thought of depression and anxiety come back. Thank you for ruining the monumental steps that I have taken to get where I am today. Because making me doubt those things, even for just a split second, made me so much STRONGER than I was before. I trust the fact that I am doing, everything in my power, to be the best MOM I can be. So, I am walking away from this situation, having LOST a friendship, but have GAINED happiness and courage in the kind of mother I am.

Here’s to moving on and enjoying motherhood, my way!

Throwback to your first few days alive!

KEIRA LYNN HARTMAN

MAY 12,2016

A MOLAR??? As your first tooth!!

September 4, 2016

     Seriously girl, you never cease to amaze me at this point!
Everything that a  typically baby has, you don't and everything a "normal" baby ( according to the books) is supposed to go through, you go through differently.  I swear, it makes me laugh at how idiotic those parenting books can be sometimes.

     I knew you were teething; most people/ articles/ and research showed that babies don't teethe as early as 3 months and if they did start teething, it would be a long time before that tooth broke free. And most of the time, it is the bottom incisors that come first.
Of course, my darling, you are the little one that starts teething at barely 3 months old and as of today, I felt that tooth. It was your molar in your upper, right side of your mouth poking through. You poor thing, no wonder why you have been cranky. Feels sharp! 

     Now, I know I said you are fussy lately, but you are still smiling and even laughing most times. If mommy stays on top of the Tylenol ( when you run a fever), then you aren't nearly as fussy.  
You do get a lot of diarrhea, crankiness, drooling, and you want to chew everything while you are teething. You can't yet, grasp onto the teething toys or cool washcloths, so I have been freezing your pacifiers which you like a little bit. But honestly, you enjoy sucking your hands and my fingers. You try, so hard, to fit your entire hands in your mouth and it is the cutest thing! You grunt and whine because you can't get them all the way in there. I do allow you to show on my knuckles ( yes, some mommies don't approve, but I don't really care.) I don't like to see you in pain and if you sucking on my knuckles will help that pain a little, then by all means, go ahead! Daddy and I have been up taking care of you at night since you didn't want to eat as much during the day which can be normal for teething. Previously, you were sleeping from about 9pm to about 8:30am , but since your teeth have been really bothering you, even with Tylenol, you are up a few times a night now. 

     You have developed a deeper sense of who Daddy and I are. In fact, you don't mind other family members holding you, but you scan the room to look for us when you are being held by someone else. You are also having a hard time eating, even with Daddy. For some reason, you like the way I feed you these days which I don't mind because it gives us nice quality time. You like it when I whisper in your ear and tell you what is going to happen for the rest of that time period. Like for instance, at night when we eat your night-time bottle, you get rocked in my left arm and eat and as you drink your bottle, I tell you that we are going to finish feeding, and then do a diaper change, and put on your night-time face cream ( eczema stuff to help itching). Then I tell you how I am going to rock you to sleep and stroke your cheeks and face until you close your eyes. And mama, will always be here. You love when I talk to you in a nice, soft, quiet voice. You get nice and calm for me and it helps put you to sleep for the night. 

     I will say this, sweetie pie- you are getting so big these days and I find myself falling more and more in love with you each day! Off to get some sleep for now! 
XOXO 
MOMMY